i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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