i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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