True but thats because hes a fetus.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
