We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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