The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
porn star boner night. come get it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
