You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
