I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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