i jhust puked up my retainher.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
