do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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