I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
