By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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