dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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