i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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