he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
