sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
