I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
