i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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