Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
