Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
