brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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