Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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