standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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