If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
