If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
