I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
