Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
