and you said cock pushups were impossible
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
