It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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