My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
