She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
