Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
