just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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