So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
