Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
