I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
