Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
smell my finger.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize