Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
