i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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