I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Who died my cat blue again?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
