your room smells of hookers.
And success
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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