Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
