just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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