Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
