At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
