Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
