u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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