i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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