What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize