yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
