You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
