There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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